She Is Me

“I had one agency tell me that I didn’t have to tell him anything, that I could leave — basically eight months pregnant — from my home, come here, have the baby, and go back and not tell him anything,” said one woman, who told the adoption agency that she was from out of state and wanted to place in Utah.

“Fathers have zero rights in Utah,” she said, “zero.”

 ”

Studies of women who have lost children to adoption confirm that it creates lifelong, irresolvable grief, anger, guilt and PTSD which is some cases increases over time. Women I have met who have experienced both an abortion and placing a child fro adoption have all said that the later is far, far worse emotionally. How could it not be? ”

An attorney and the legal representative of the Guatemalan agency that handled the adoption were both convicted of human trafficking last fall. A third woman was detained and charged last month with trafficking, conspiracy and forgery in connection with the adoption. ”

The honors for speaking about something you know nothing about now goes to Marguerite Kelly, also of the Washington Post, whose counsel puts both Landers and Hax to shame.* Kelly has made a career on guiding anxious parents since 1975. She seems to have learned nothing since that dark era of closed adoption where self-proclaimed child welfare experts told adoptive parents that adopting a child was “as if” the child was born to them. Kelly seems to view adopted children as objects to be controlled by adoptive parents rather than sentient human beings to be nurtured. Kelly’s advice in this case goes beyond wrong. It’s scary because someone might actually follow it. ”

‘I wish we could keep her. I wish there was something we could do.’ But, there was nothing we could do, we didn’t have the support. ”

It seems clear that from the institutions’ point of view, the adopting-out of their “clients’” babies was their default mandate, and that whatever method was necessary - duplicity, shaming or stonewalling - could be applied without guilt in the interest of the institution’s mission. Everyone was complicit in these schemes: doctors, social workers and maternity-ward caregivers. ”

TOMILINO, Russia – Two years after Artem Saveliev’s American adoptive mother put him alone on a plane back to his homeland, the towheaded 9-year-old shivers and barks “No!” when asked if he ever would go back to the United States. ”

Oh, doesn’t it suck, adoptoraptors? Doesn’t it suck being pushed to the back of the bus? Doesn’t it suck that your voice isn’t being heard?

Why yes. Yes it does. Welcome to the life of an adoptee and first Mom. Our stories don’t count, unless we are showing how sore our lips are from kissing adopter ass.

Our voices are not heard unless we use phrases such as “But our real parents are the ones who raised us”, “It was God’s plan I was adopted” or “Thank Baby Jeebuz I didn’t end up on the end of a coat hanger”.

First Mom’s voices are not heard unless they are spouting the NCFA lines such as “I wanted to give my baby a better life”, “I loved my child so much I gave them away”, “I am not my child’s Mother” or worse, “I was born to be a birth Mother”.

 ”

How often are adoptions disrupted? More than most people realize. A U.S. Department of Health and Human Services review of what was known as of 2004 suggests that overall, 10-25 percent of adoptions are disrupted or dissolved, and that the rate tends to rise with the age of the child at adoption. According to the paper from the Donaldson Institute: researchers found that for children between 6 and 8, the disruption rate was over 10 percent, and correspondingly went up with age: for children between the ages of 9 and 11, it was over 17 percent; between the ages of 12 and 14, it was over a whopping 22 percent. ”

Hunt for American woman who dumped adopted Russian twins on freezing street with just a note saying: ‘I’ve given them up’ ”

Carol, was a college freshman in 1966, when she says a social worker in Pittsburgh betrayed her with promises to help her keep newborn son. After the birth, drugged and disoriented, Carol says she unknowingly signed relinquishment papers presented by that social worker as hospital release forms. She needed two words to answer our question, “soul rape. ”